So many people want to be in a relationship where they are truly loved by someone else but they don’t even love themselves!
My first blog post in this month’s Do Better Everyday Love & Relationship series is on self-love. I feel that so many people focus on loving others or strongly desire the love of others, but neglect loving themselves. You have probably heard so many talks about self love and how much you need to love yourself and may even be tired of hearing it. But I strongly believe that we need constant reminders to love ourselves, as it can have a huge impact on our relationship with others. And anyway the second greatest commandment is to Love Others as you love yourself (Matthew 22:39). Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t know how I can truly love others as I love myself if I don’t actually love myself. So I have started this series off with this topic to encourage us to love ourselves in a healthy way so that we can have more healthy relationships with others.
How can you truly love someone else if you don’t even love yourself?
Now, some people may disagree with this statement and may believe that it is possible to love someone else even if you do not love yourself. Well everyone is entitled to their beliefs, but I personally do not believe that it is possible. In this life, many people try and run away from themselves, but fail to realise that they are with themselves 24/7. Now, I am not encouraging vanity or for us to become prideful people but I am encouraging us to become confident in who we are. This also does not mean we should be selfish… self love isn’t selfish!
Imagine if you failed to eat any food or drink any water for one year, there is a very high chance that you will not be able to survive. Now if that happened, how would you be able to feed someone else? Same way, when you are on a plane, at the beginning of the journey parents are advised that in the case of an emergency, put the air mask on yourself first before putting it on your child. In essence, if you are to feed others with love, you must first feed yourself with love!
My Self-love journey 💕
So I would say I began this Self-love journey a few years ago & I would say that it is a constant journey which I am still on. Before this journey, I was very insecure about me being skinny. Some people would have heard this before but my African aunties did not help the situation. I would be questioned whether I ate enough and would even be told I don’t look well.
At the time I didn’t love my body, I even tried to over-eat just to put on weight. Well this didn’t work! It took time before I could genuinely say I loved how I looked despite what others would say. I had to discover who I was by spending more time with God and had to hand him this insecurity in the process. This was just the beginning of the journey. I don’t know what you may be insecure about or what may be stopping you from getting to know and love the real you. It may be your physical features, your past experiences or because of comparison. Only you truly know! But I want to let you know today that you are totally unique. No one can do you better than you can. So instead of allowing these different things to stop you from loving yourself, hand it all over to God and start walking towards truly loving You!
Below are 5 ways we can increase self-love! These are just suggestions. You may not take any of them, but hopefully it will help you to come up with what works best for you.
5 Ways you can increase self-love:-
- Speak positively of yourself & compliment yourself often – write lovely notes to yourself and about yourself
- Discover the real You by going to your Creator – Spend time with God
- Try not to constantly compare yourself to others – If you need to unfollow certain people/pages then go ahead
- Forgive yourself of the things you have done in the past that you are not so proud of
- Spend time with yourself – Get to know YOU & take care of YOU – treat yourself often e.g. by going to the spa & buying yourself nice things
Final Word of encouragement… 😀
If you haven’t already, begin walking on this journey of self-love, whether you are single, in a relationship or married. Just take it one step at a time. You don’t need to rush or even feel discouraged if parts of the journey are not as easy as expected. But listen, it will be worth it. It will allow you to cultivate healthier relationships with those around you because you value yourself. It will also allow you to know your worth and not allow anyone to belittle you or tell you otherwise.
Next week there will another blog post as part of the Do Better Everyday Love & Relationship series, so watch this space! Don’t forget to like, comment and share (someone out there may need this word more than you do!)
With Love ❤💋